newsflash: people suck.

well, i'm off complaining again.

my blog is my happy spot.

i can't wait for grad kidnapping to be over. im so tired and sick of it, and alack and alas, it has all fallen on me. shiiiieeeettt.

frick. there's people who still haven't been chosen yet, and im stressed about that.

and people who refuse to kidnap, cause they're stupid hoes.

also, this night is for the guys to drink and get drunk and have fun.

if you are driving up there, don't you think you might not want to drink?

or, even have found someone to drive that won't be drinking before today?

honestly people are being selfish.

i don't know everything. you can figure some things out yourself. like holyyy get over it.

also, i never really liked you in the first place, but you'd think since i organized your kidnapping, you'd be a bit more polite about taking some freaking wood up there. dumbfuckkkk.

holy i feel like everyone's starting to just get super pissy with me, but seriously, figure shit out for yourself.

im sorry if i hurt your feelings when i told you to find someone else to drive your car down. seriously.

gah. people, you suck.

arghjdfkasjfdhgklhdsakj. fackers.

and because some people are stressing me out im getting mad at people i wouldn't get mad at before, so i apologize to you for that. :)

annndd yep.

lets get outta dodge.

shut up. why are you talking?

SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP.

holy fack.

honestly, we were planning it just fine until you made that stupid fucking facebook group. what. the fuck. i don't really like you, and i don't know why you'd think it would be okay for YOU to plan this. ALSO, fucking kidnapping is a fucking secret you dumb fuck. girls kidnap guys and the guys don't know about it. guys kidnap girls and the girls don't know about it. ITS BASIC. how the fuck do you expect to kidnap people if everyone knows about it? thats just called a fucking party you fuck. its supposed to be a surprise for one gender thats how it works. HONESTLY. its not rocket science. or any science. its common sense, which you obviously have none of. seriously. open to EVERYONE? the fucking principal and vice principal and teachers will all see it. fuck you're stupid. WHAT THE FUCCKKKK. peace out gid-thang.

let's build a house; where trees hang low.

in 48 hours i will be on a plane to new york city.

this is wonderful news.

because its fashionable and bigger than vernon.

i feel like people will understand me.

not really, though, seeing as i dress very vernon-esque. ugh.

but alack and alas.

also, i've decided that i will NOT become that girl that gets super fat after high school.

like i mean, i know there's always a good solid handful in each grad class.

but it will not be me.

and i will not be living with my parents partying with high school kids not doing anything three years later.

its creepy and weird and i am determined.

so sfu, please show me some love and let me in next year.

and work, please let me have enough money to go to sfu when they let me in next year.

yesssss.

newyorknewyorknewyorknewyorknewyork.

love.

hello, is it me you're looking for

i just wanted to say, thank you.

thank you for being you.

thank you for listening to me complain.

thank you for putting up with all the bullshit things i say.

thank you for being able to handle my emotional side.

thank you for telling me i'm beautiful on my fat, no makeup, hair up days.

thank you for loving me.

thank you for talking to me.

thank you for coming out of your shell. i hope that i helped a bit with that.

thank you for taking me to chick flicks you don't want to see.

thank you for being so reasonable when i am so not.

thank you for making me feel perfect.

thank you for holding me.

thank you for cuddling.

thank you for pulling me closer.

thank you for hanging out with my family.

and liking it.

thank you for laughing at my stories when they aren't funny.

thank you for liking ridiculous things that i do.

thank you for knowing me and what i'm about.

thank you for being such an awesome boyfriend.

thank you for being you.

i love you, mr. sellars.

oh my god, i hit william shatner.

well helllo there i haven't written for quite some while.

and when reading while, i hope you pronounce it wHile.

really emphasize the h.

kay thanks.

so i leave for new york in ten days!!!

how excited are you? SO EXCITED, thats how!!!

xtine and yano and mica and myself all in one roooooooom thats how excited.

woooo freakiin eff. i can finally get out of this town. im so tired of this place. it'll be awesome to get out. even if it is only for one week. thats one week i won't have to be here for. which is so exciting.

freaking school. i don't want this anymore. i slept through both blocks of english today. yep. as attractive as marlon brando is, a streetcar named desire movie is not that interesting. it was a nice power nap to get me ready for....english lit! huzzahhhh. at least me and taylor and jenny were wearing basically the same color. that kept me entertained for a good while of the day. especially seeing how many people commented on it.

'oh hey, you guys are wearing the same color!'

'dude, did you plan that?'

'haha you're all dressed the same.'

oh really? thank you. i hadn't noticed in the ten minutes we have been sitting here together. lol at the tools

i saw shutter island last night.

im a huge baby and that is all that this paragraph will say.

and i'm in a pissy mood right now.

cause i've asked for flowers how many times? but no. not for me. flowers are expensive, dates are expensive, gas is expensive.

ahhh yes, but getting new tires because you want your car to look nicer isn't expensive.

thank you. thank you.

okay so i read that and realized how selfish i sounded. but you know what? i want freakin flowers.

i would like something that shows some passion here. something out of the ordinary. something that makes me feel good. although, mister, you do say nice things that make me feel nice. and when you hold me and give me a hug from behind, i feel really loved.

but come on.

im not asking for a bouquet every single day. just one. then a couple months down the road, maybe another?

im sorry, but every girl wants to be picked up, handed flowers, and taken out for dinner.

that just sounds lovely.

okay it feels good to get my feelings out through something. i think i just like ranting.

aw graduation station is coming up! three months, three days. sounds gorgeousss.

i'm don't think i feel like going to dance tonight. i mean, i will, of course. partially only to see atisha et jahnaya. but you know. i'll be there. and dancing. wooooo.

aiight, i should go. i love you all.

xoxo

--t

times

I know I need You

I need to love You

I love to see You, but it's been so long

I long to feel You

I feel this need for You

And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You

When we're close, I fear You

Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done

Are You done forgiving?

Oh can You look past my pretending?

Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become

What have I become?

I hear You say,

My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My power alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you

My love never ends.

It never ends.

ranting.

okay, so no, we DIDN'T actually see each other yesterday, that was a couple days ago. and sorry if i want to see you more than once in a couple of days? is it really that big of a hassle to put up with me for that long? then why are we still here? also, you said you'd be there, so you should be there. i'm sorry, i'm calling bullshit. it takes at least an hour and a half, just driving. so making those plans knowing what you had just told me, thats slightly upsetting. sorry if this is stupid. it is me, after all, most things i say are stupid, right?

also, yeah, i'm gonna be concerned that those were face down. its kind of sketchy, when they're all in one place like that, face down instead of standing up. i don't care if you look at them every day, i don't care if you look at them at all. but it seemed to me like you were going out of your way not to look. obviously things are going to go through my mind if i see that, so thats pretty sweet.

maybe this needs some rethinking.

some reworking.

some something.