blahhhhgspot.

gahh so i am having an emo day.

one of those things where all the little things build up and make you want to punch someone and something in the face.

hard.

bahh.

my phone is such a pissoff and i can't delete anything and so all of my texts look like drunk texts and i don't feel good about myself and there are those girls, you know the girls, that you're friends with that get everything? everyone likes them, everyone thinks they're amazing and everything and its just like. FUCKING PAY ATTENTION TO ME FOR A SECOND PLEASE. holyy such an annoying thing.

everybody's pestering me to do stuff and its like...dude.

its the first week of summer vacation. let me just escape from you for a while. i need my me time. does nobody else need that? do people feel the need to constantly be surrounded by people all the time? cause i dont! at all. i like being alone sometimes. i just need to back out and be like..hode up. back up off me. but no, people don't understand that sometimes i just want to lie outside at HOME. not at the beach where there is bird shit and children screaming and dirty water. i want to lie outside on my deck, where there is little to no bird shit, swim in my clean pool, and have almost silence.

yes, that sounds just lovely.

silence.

and when you have those days where everythings breaking, you just lose it? the cord to my laptop was under it. and i couldn't move it for some reason. so i screamed at it....

loudly...

oh dear.

at least ranting here is making me feel a LOT better about things. :)

mica had her concert last night. ryan, phoebie, stacey, arin and taylor and i all went. we were all bawling when she finished. it was such a beautiful song.

i love you mica and will miss you terribly. don't forget me when you're famous.

brooke's birthday is on saturdayyy and so friday night its her birfday partyy! im SO EXCITED. i think that after this week i'll be able to be in summer mode and go to the beach and stuff. which is quite nice.

im planning out europe as we speak, also.

like, i have a map that i am drawing stars on for where we want to go. red stars for both of us, yellow for just me, blue for just him.

really though, im down for anywhere.

i just want to get out of dodge.

--t

holllllaaa

so since i have last talked to you, i had my dance recital. which went so freaking well and was so freaking emotional. it's our last year dancing, all the grads, sooo we were sad.

then, i graduated!!!! holy ballsack it was so much fun! my brother and his gf surprised me by coming when they said they werent! we had pictures in the park, then the ceremony then we all went out for supper at this divine little italian place :) it was soo nice. then we went to the school and walked around in our dresses, then had the first dance with your parent slash someone you care about kind of...thing. then we danced our faces off. then we had our supergraddd wooooooo.

the theme was masquerade! which wasn't really prominent in the decorations or activities but still! they started the night out with some fire dancers. like, a troup of people who danced with fire. it was so cool. in the big gym they had the big bouncy things all set up, then they had an arcade room with rented arcade games. then there was a magician there all night just doin some tricks. you know, the usual. up in the grad lounge there was the casino. which was four blackjack tables and a crown and anchor game. it was actually so addicting, im nervous to turn 19 and play with real money...hmmm.

in the cafeteria there was like, so damn much food. there was a party subway sub, panago pizzas, sushi, fruit and dip, veggies and dip, crazy bread and crazy sauce, pop, chips, chicken wings, and a candy table. where you just put a bunch of candy in a paper bag and had a candy bag. it was so freaking sweet. then at the end of the night the hypnotist came, and it was so freaking funny. i laughed so hard, for so long. it was gorgeous.

it was sweet, i got so many presents that i didn't really think i'd get.

like my grandma gave me a pair of earrings that belonged to my great grandma and are absolutely stunning. my aunt gave me a necklace made with beads that grandmothers in africa painted, marty's family gave me a makeup case, purse, and big mirror (sounds weird, but im so okay with it.) and hailey got me some looseleaf tea and this AWESOME travel mug! its glass, and then you sip through a strainer, so you can have looseleaf tea in it and don't have to be awkwardly sipping plants. :) just divine.

it was such a great weekend! after supergrad a few of us went to emilys for breakfast, and it was such a nice way to finish it off. when i woke up in the morning it was so sunny and i just hung out by the pool all day with my family. it was actually just so freaking great.

im so excited for summer.

so. excited.

lets hope i can get into a better mood about some things, though...

--t

theres so many pregnant people.

holy cow

seriously. there are so many people who are preggo!

like, i know 14 people who are either too young or were not wanting to have a baby...that are.

so maybe theres something in the water. because this is just getting ridiculous.

seriously, young ones.

use protection, it's what its there for.

listen to the sex ed lessons.

its what its there for.

NOW PUT ON A CONDOM.

hiiiiyeeee.

sooo today, i decided that it would be a prime day for me to go and talk to travel agents.

so i did.

i went down to uniglobe, and girl was all, hayy, i'll send you an email with the deets. and i was all, hayy, back. and then i went downtown to marlin travel, and the lady there was super helpful and went into details about almost everything and made me feel like her child. so i felt well protected. anywho, prices for roundtrip right now are about 1000-1300 dollahs, so, its all basically the same. but they both told me that prices fluxuate a LOT. and alison (at marlin) told me i could probably wait until like, july. which i can do. soo we're probably going to save up more money, then figure it out. also, when you buy super close to the date, airlines are just trying to put cheeks in seats, so it'll be dirt cheap. so we might do that too. but i haven't told jake that. heh. surprissseee.

and then, i went home, and my parents went down to the poolroom, and pulled out this massive backpack from like ten years back. and its in like perfect condition, is a beautiful size, hooks a sleeping bag onto it, and i think may be perfect for when we go. :)

my only concern now is packing. because i want like, one nice outfit for if we go to a nice dinner somewhere. cause i don't want to be extreme grubbin. but i have to pack casual and light enough that it doesn't hurt my back and can go places. so this may be a concern.

i WILL figure this out though.

hoorahh.

also, yesterday, i applied for sign language up at the college.

sooo, hopefully that means i can take it and get into SFU for fall 2011.

hopefully...

alas.

but soon this will become a beautiful travel blog!!!

ahhh lovee it.

travel blogs from all over europe. hurrah!!

--t.

no one ever said it would be so hard.

okay so my birthday was abso-freakin-lutely perfect. Jasmine made me a cake and we had presents and cake and chips in geology :) she bought me these super cool face towel things that are the size of tums and you put in water and then they turn into a face cloth. soo cool. :) and lip chaps and eye shadow and lots of fun things :)

after school jake picked me up with a cupcake from chickies and he tried to light a candle in it and it was adorable :) then we went back to my house and i got his presents :) which were great and for europe and im super excited for europe :)

and then we had a family dinner at maharoba and it was in this super cute back room thing and the food was amazing. :) mary and martin got me a pedicure and my mommy and daddy bought me a video camera!!! im sooo excited. gahhh.

anyweez. since then, its been super blah. jake and i have been fighting lots. like, lots. and i feel like most of our fights are perfectly normal reasons to be mad. he doesn't...

jakdfjbahkhbkaklejhkalhfk.

whatever, i'll just bottle in all my emotions from now on. im sure thats super healthy for me....

but at least its freaking finally nice and sunny out!!

and i can get tanned and happy from the sheer amounts of vitamin D going into my skin :)

thank goodness.

well, on this beautiful sunny day, i must be off to work.

holllaaaa.

--t

birthday suits.

SUIT UP.

its mah birthday tomorrow.

kay bye.

lately.

oh hellooo again!

how art though??

well, i am pretty good. i think.

i had a very long dance rehearsal today, and realized that some of my costumes look stupid as balls. i also realized that pantyhose are such a ripoff because i paid 8 bucks for a pair that was supposed to fit me according to the sizing chart, and didn't at all, and ripped as soon as i put them on. kay cool.

also, it's my birthday soon :) on tuesday.

i'll be 18. it's been such a great 18 years that i've had. im really blessed :)

also, i'm starting to worry. of course. what else is new. i'm just worried because i feel like i've always been very clingy with jake. like i love talking to him all the time and being with him all the time and even if i'm sick and super tired i wanna be with him still.

and then last night, i was sick and tired and sleepy, i just went to bed. without a fight for him staying over or anything.

and i know thats stupid, cause i mean, it's almost been two years since we started dating, and i really should be at that not clingy point anymore, and i hope thats what it is, but what if its something else? like i know its not...but...gahhh.

and it's super busy time right now, like every june. it's everyone's grads, its my birthday, it's dance show and many rehearsals, and it's my grad. but i know that in a month it'll all be over and good and i wont be stressed anymore. but especially because i am pmsing like a psychowoman, its really really weighing on me.

but i know it'll get better as soon as school is done (forever!) and the sun starts shining :)

sooo, i think thats all, but i really don't know.

my neighbors are smoking pot right now.

i can smell it cause my windows open...

but im too lazy to close it.

kay now im done.

--t